Author Archives: chadzaucha

6:30 PM.  $15 at the door.

When I was a kid I struggled with lots of anxiety issues.  I constantly played the “What if…” game in my mind.  Sleep was a real challenge.  When I hit Jr. High I seemed to outgrow the anxiety.  But I now realize that I merely learned how to distract myself from it through a focus on achievement (control) and a preoccupation with sports (escape).  My recent health issues and accompanying fear have shown me that the anxiety has been there all along, hiding beneath the surface, and robbing me of true joy.  

A wise friend shared some great insight with me this week.  She said that the cultural approach to dealing with fear and anxiety is to disassociate from it.  Learn how to think about something else–your “happy place” if you will.  The problem is that the anxiety is still there and will rear its ugly head when given the opportunity.  Further, focusing on a “happy place” distracts us from giving our full attention to God.  We become preoccupied with other, lesser things. 

God, on the other hand, has a different approach.  He desires to take us by the hand and to face the fear and anxiety head on.  As expressed in the book  Just Courage by Gary Haugen, he takes us to our boundary of fear and wants to set us free.    Biblical examples include Abraham and the Rich Young Ruler.  Abraham had to face the fear of giving up his most prized possession, his son Isaac.  God took him to that boundary of fear and set Abraham free.  The Rich Young Ruler had to face the fear of giving up his most prized possession, financial security.  God took him to that boundary of fear, but in contrast to Abraham’s faith, the Rich Young Ruler walked away, choosing control over freedom.  He would continue to live in fear and anxiety and without the joy of the Lord.

What is causing fear and anxiety in your life?  Are you simply trying to cover it up with happy thoughts or worldly distractions.  God wants to set you free.  But it will require taking the journey to face those fears head on.  At that moment of truth we are given the choice:  will I trust God to lead me through the fear, or will I walk away. 

God has brought me to my boundary of fear.  I am more than anxious about my health and the future.  But He is reaching out His nail scarred hand, offering  to take me through it so that I will be set free.  On the other side is a brand new life of peace, faith, and joy as I learn to trust Him completely.  Please pray for me that I will cling tightly to His hand as I pray the same for you.

Christy and I were blessed to go to Big Bear Lake for a short getaway Monday and Tuesday night.  The lodging was a prize I won at a pastor’s gathering.  It is fascinating to drive through high desert for so long until you begin a steep ascent into the mountains (7000 feet) and experience this:

Ephes. 3:18 (NLT) 
    And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is.

(photo courtesy of the Haman family and 2011 Spring Break trip.  Thanks for inviting Josh.)

We met with the neurologist today and are very encouraged.  Yesterday’s MRI showed no MS or tumor.  She admitted that in light of my symptoms she was looking at the possiblility of MS.  The MRI did reveal degeneration in the discs of my neck which are pinching the nerves and causing the numbness in my hands, feet, legs, and arms.  It is possible that this is the root cause of my arm issues which prompted the ulnar nerve surgery in March.  The cervical discs are definitely an issue  but certainly small in comparision with some of the other possibilities.  The initial treatment for this will be physical therapy.  Yesterday’s EEG showed some “slowing” on the right side of my brain, so she prescribed a light dosage of anti-seizure medication that is supposed to also help in the short term with the nerve pain.  The issues with my face (blurred vision, ringing ear, and numb cheek) are likely from a migraine–perhaps induced by stress. 

Thank you all for your prayers.  One of the areas I have certainly been blessed are many expressions of love and support.  There is still a ways to go on this journey, especially the spiritual part about which I look forward to sharing more in the future. 

(As long as I am being transparent on the worldwide web, my Vitamin D is deficient and my cholesterol is high).

Last December I began to experience pain in both elbows and numbness in both hands.  Two different doctors confirmed that my ulnar nerve was moving out of its channel and causing the discomfort.  The remedy was a surgery to relocate the nerve under the muscle.  The surgery on the right arm took place on March 4th and the recovery has been quite a roller coaster. 

Last Monday my right foot went numb.  This was followed on Tuesday by my left foot and left leg on Wednesday.  I went to the ER on Wednesday night, but there was little they could do for me there.  I saw a neurologist on Friday who ordered a bunch of tests.  Over the weekend the hearing in my left ear and vision and my left eye diminished.  My cheek went numb.  I went to the ER on Sunday for a CT scan that came back negative.  I had a blood test this morning and am waiting approval from insurance for an MRI.  I meet again with the neurologist on Friday and will have a nerve conduction study done then.

Several years ago I read a book on brokenness and knew it was my greatest spiritual need.  It is through brokenness that we are humbled so that the Holy Spirit can truly work through us.  I believe that God is answering that prayer.  I have never been weaker or more dependent.  I anticipate God doing great things.  Yet, my mind is easily filled with doubts and fears.  The real test now is, do I truly trust the God I preach about each Sunday? 

I believe that on the other side of this darkness is a deeper experience of faith and joy.  I would ask for your prayers to help me arrive at this destination.

Series:  Romans

Text:  Romans 6:1-10

Title:  “Dead To Sin”

Romans 6:1-2 (NIV)
What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? [2] By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?

Does Paul mean that as true Christians we won’t sin anymore?  What does it mean to die to sin?

Our house was about two years overdue for paint.  We finally had to do it and broke with convention and did a very “happy” color scheme (The houses in our neighborhood are pretty much all brown tones–like it was a rule or something).  Here’s the end result: