With My Own Eyes

Last December I began to experience pain in both elbows and numbness in both hands.  Two different doctors confirmed that my ulnar nerve was moving out of its channel and causing the discomfort.  The remedy was a surgery to relocate the nerve under the muscle.  The surgery on the right arm took place on March 4th and the recovery has been quite a roller coaster. 

Last Monday my right foot went numb.  This was followed on Tuesday by my left foot and left leg on Wednesday.  I went to the ER on Wednesday night, but there was little they could do for me there.  I saw a neurologist on Friday who ordered a bunch of tests.  Over the weekend the hearing in my left ear and vision and my left eye diminished.  My cheek went numb.  I went to the ER on Sunday for a CT scan that came back negative.  I had a blood test this morning and am waiting approval from insurance for an MRI.  I meet again with the neurologist on Friday and will have a nerve conduction study done then.

Several years ago I read a book on brokenness and knew it was my greatest spiritual need.  It is through brokenness that we are humbled so that the Holy Spirit can truly work through us.  I believe that God is answering that prayer.  I have never been weaker or more dependent.  I anticipate God doing great things.  Yet, my mind is easily filled with doubts and fears.  The real test now is, do I truly trust the God I preach about each Sunday? 

I believe that on the other side of this darkness is a deeper experience of faith and joy.  I would ask for your prayers to help me arrive at this destination.

Series:  Romans

Text:  Romans 6:1-10

Title:  “Dead To Sin”

Romans 6:1-2 (NIV)
What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? [2] By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?

Does Paul mean that as true Christians we won’t sin anymore?  What does it mean to die to sin?

Our house was about two years overdue for paint.  We finally had to do it and broke with convention and did a very “happy” color scheme (The houses in our neighborhood are pretty much all brown tones–like it was a rule or something).  Here’s the end result:

Leading With a Limp by Dan B. Allender, PhD

“The difference between a manager and a leader is the internal urge to alter the status quo to create a different world.  In that sense leaders are prophets.  They see the present as incomplete and inadequate and are willing to risk the comfort of the present for the promise of a better tomorrow.  A manager, on the other hand, is content to keep the organization running as smoothly and as efficiently as it can function.  A manager serves to keep the plane in the air, whereas a leader wants to put a new engine on the plane midair (58).”

christianaudio.com is a website where you can purchase and download Christian audio books.  I look forward to the first of each month because there is a free download made available.  The free download this month is a book called A Place of Healing:  Wrestling With the Mysteries of Suffering, Pain and God’s Sovereignty by Joni Eareckson Tada.  You must read this book.   It is the best treatment I have read regarding a biblical theology of healing–and of course the author is able to address this topic with incredible authority.  Please read it and let me know what you think.

Both Josh and Anna finished 6th grade this year and are headed to Matilija Jr. High School next year.  Crazy.  Here are some pictures showing how much they have changed in the 5+ years we have been in California.

Leading With a Limp by Dan B. Allender, PhD

“God calls leaders to tell a story of redemption through their lives as they lead others in the redeeming story of God.  Leaders are primarily storytellers and story makers; and troubled people are called to be leaders because they create and tell compelling stories.  Sane, reasonable, play-it-safe people are not sufficiently engaged in life to generate great stories.  Instead, they sit back and wait for a leader-storyteller to come along and get them caught up in a life worth living.  Troubled leaders live with their weakness on their sleeve, and it is through their weakness that grace comes to be magnified (54).”

After 7 months since my last post, I am reentering the blogosphere.  Why?  The truth is, I need this outlet to process some of the really great and painful lessons God has been teaching me lately.  Blogging encourages me to slow down and engage in some much needed reflection, so that I don’t miss the significance of what God is doing.  Not every post will be profound.  I’ll share pictures and family news as well as some quick hitting updates via Twitter.  These will help to give context to the deeper posts.

Thanks for taking this journey with me.  I welcome your participation and look forward to what lies ahead.